Today!

So I pull out the new outfit just my husband recently got me. My mother looks at me, and says, in what has become characteristic of her, “Why are you wearing the new dress today?”


Her point being, why spoil all new clothes, keep them for a special occasion.( I am staying at my mom’s place the whole of May, and I go back to my husband’s house in June.)

I tell here, nonchalantly, “Because, it’s my birthday today.”

When your parents forget your birthday, you realize, you have become really old! Sigh!

And then my parents rushed to wish me, gave a gift (what else but cash).

I am 30 years old today. I was excited about it, but then today is just another day. Kid is going for his first trip without me or the husband, and it would have been the perfect day for us to hang out. I wanted to catch a late night movie..

But well, I have the case of low-lying placenta again, and I really don’t want to do any roaming around. But it’s fine.

I am wearing new outfit shaped like a tent, airy and roomy.  Friends still remember me and wish me. Sis speaks to me to wish me after a major fight. Job’s going fine.

Next birthday, I will be on the wrong side of 30, but on the right side of life. I would have settled in to a life with two children, and hopefully manage it well and fine.

Thank God for the blessings and the opportunities.

PS: And this blog is 8 years old! :)

Cleaning, Memories and Change

We are cleaning our house. We are going to have it painted, and have been clearing out stuff.. in the process come out lots and lots of sutff that we don't need and memories. And some of them have to be discarded. I don't do it with a heavy heart, for with age, and a certain sense of contentment, comes the maturity to accept that change is the only constant thing in life.

I do not hoard much, except for some of my clothes that are in good condition, but don't fit me. I keep those in hope that I will reduce some day, and I have been able to get into a few of them, mind you, just a few, the rest are passed on to my sister, who is eternally thin..

So I didn't keep any of Sanjay's baby clothes. They were not thrown out, but were merely given away to other children. While cleaning, I happened upon few baby clothes that I still had, I was happy. I wanted the baby to wear some of Sanjay's old clothes. It may seem weird for cultures, where babies wear new stuff, but for most of us Indians, babies start out by wearing hand-me-downs from other well children. Sort of a belief, and I am glad that my baby gets to wear some of Sanjay's stuff.

I will wash them and keep them safe for when my baby arrives. I show Sanjay that these are the clothes that he wore as a baby, and he looks at one nappy and asks me if he can make the baby wear it. I say yes, and smile.

I look at all cute girl baby stuff and wish for a girl, but I am sure , when I am through with my delivery, all I will care to ask is if the baby is well. :)

Pregnancy updates - 9th month

Lots to say. I better say it now or the pregnancy might end and motherhood might begin. When I think about it, motherhood has already begun, hasn’t it? I am already nurturing a tiny little person inside me.

I had a scan in the fag end of my eight month and the scan said that my due date may be advanced from April 16th to April 5th. I was so excited. I know babies are a lot of work and my life will change in a way that can never be reversed, yet I was eager to meet this tiny little person inside me. I saw baby’s little feet, perfect and beautiful, on the scan. My MIL got to see a lot more, I was lying down, while the radiologist was explaining to MIL as to what on the screen was what.

I now visit the doc every ten days. I wish I lived in the doc’s house and the doc told me every moment that the baby is doing good. I have been told to monitor baby movements. I don’t know if I am doing it right, or if the baby is really not moving. As I have progressed through pregnancy, I have worried less and less. Yet a tiny worry will creep in once in a while. May be it is all a parcel of motherhood.

I am putting on weight rapidly. It is very hard for me to judge how much my stomach is expanding, but I am showing pretty lots. I was told in office today that my stomach was huge.

That brings me to another topic, I am still working. If I had a car, I would actually work till the day before delivery. I need all the holidays for later on when the baby is actually there. As of now, but for the mild physical discomfort, I am pretty much OK. I still travel by public transport, our very own PTC buses. But I only board a bus where there is a seat for me and if it is a direct bus, much better. My trip back from office is by a van.

The doctor actually told me to start the maternity leave from the 20th and my FIL bet that I would go on my leave from that day, as I already huff and puff and sigh when I have to get up and walk, as in get up from being seated on the floor.

I learnt these pregnancy exercises sometime back, and I do them at least once a day. I try to pull in 30 minutes of walking too, but somedays, I would rather laze around.

March 9th , I came to my mom’s house. I so looked forward to eating sweets made by mom. But Murphy comes into the picture and my sugar level is a little high. And me being me, can get pretty paranoid, so am staying away from sugar and sweets. Atleast, I will get to have them once baby is there.

My BP is high too at 144. I have reached a point where these figures just annoy me. I wish it didn’t have to and I didn’t have to worry. But anyways, people tell me that towards the fag end of pregnancy, BP does rise, so am OK and not exactly paranoid.

There still is no name for the baby. Husband and myself call the baby, Pappu. But it certainly doesn’t qualify for an official name. I should be looking for a name but honestly, am lazy. My kid is going to grow and read this post and get real mad at me, if I (along with the in-laws and husband) do end up giving a funny name to my kid. I don’t know if it is a boy or a girl. Half of me wishes I knew and the other half likes the suspense.

Now what baby do I really want? When I think real deep and answer honestly, I don’t know. I just want a healthy normal baby.

At the last visit to the doc, I asked her when would the baby possibly be born and she told me that I should really not think about it and the baby will come when it wants to. When I heard that from her, I thought to myself, “easier said than done”. But it does make sense. I was reading this book called “Dr.Spock’s pregnancy guide” and the details towards the last few chapters about labour and delivery were actually scaring me. I have to face it, but why worry about it now itself. So what the doc says makes sense. I am not going to think about delivery now. I am going to go about my life normally (the huge tummy not withstanding). The baby will come when it wants to and God will give me the strength and do the best for me.

The months have really gone fast and I cant believe that the pregnancy could be over anytime now. It might take longer too. I wish I have the patience to wait for my baby. I know that each day near the due date can bring a lot of anxiety. I just wish I have the will and patience to live through that. A lot of women have told me that not getting tensed during labour will help in a normal delivery. I wish I don’t have a C-section. That’s just a wish, the ultimate goal is a healthy baby and hopefully a healthy me too, so I can take real good care of the baby.

My company gives 3 months maternity leave and I can take one additional month off, which sums up to 4 months. That’s how long I plan to take off now. I will miss office, as much as I plain feel lazy to come to work. I have this very comp with me since I started work. This comp has been with me though thick and thin. I hope they don’t allocate my system to anyone else. I have cleared my personal data and am also in the process of clearing up my mobile drawer too. Am all set for the journey when it chooses to begin. I may not have it all figured out, but am willing to take this adventure ride and am actually looking forward to it.

I hope to keep blogging. My mom’s house doesn’t have a comp but I will try to put in my thoughts here. Wish me luck everyone!!!

Pregnancy Update and other sundry information...

Pregnancy update again. I have completed 7 months and am now into eight month. It has been a rollercoaster ride for me. 5th month I gained 4 Kgs which freaked out my doctor and I tried not to gainand ended up with a reduction in hemoglobin count, and so I began to eat properly and thank God , my hemoglobin count is now good. And I don’t have sugar(gestational diabetes). On the flip side, Ithink I am going to hear from the doc about my weight…..

Anyways, so far so good. I can feel little Paappu move within me pretty nicely and others can feel as well as see it once in a while when the baby moves really lots…its nice

There’s not much nausea, but I feel tired in the mornings and wish I didn’t have to get out and could just sleep. Once I am in office I feel better, traveling leaves me a bit tired.

I have two more months to go and there would be a baby. Overwhelming!!!

I think I have become majorly calm during the pregnancy, contrary to what people generally say, all that about emotional upheaval during pregnancy..i seem to have suddenly developed an ability to overlook the little things in life….they don’t irk me that much….seriously.

Good thing, totally not related to pregnancy, I cleared the SCJP exam. I hope to get one more certification before I resume work after the baby. I just want to make sure I am employable and always in a position to provide for my baby and all my loved ones.

Sriram speaks so much these days. It is such a pleasure to listen to him repeat words after the grown-ups, whether he gets the meaning or not. He can identify my voice over the phone and immediately says “Vidhya Chithi” or shortens it to “Vithi”. If you ask him to sing, he will go “AaaaaaaaaAaaaaaaaaaaa……” so sweetly….

Life is good so far. Nothing great happening on the career front, which irks me a bit, much as I try not to let the little things irk me…anyways priority no.1 is the baby and hearing and feeling that the bay is good fixes all the wrongs

My Seemantham got over and now my hands speak a language of jingle-jangle with every movement. The seemantham went well…well attended and I had fun as always except when I had to sit on the floor and my legs hurt like crazy..i was afraid to get and walk off,worried what some people might say…welcome to the tough life of a woman!!!!

I am now officially allowed to think of names for the baby..people out there, you are welcome to give your suggestions..i don’t know if it is a baby girl or a baby boy..so both names welcome please… However, I have thought of a baby girl name. Popular opinions of all maamis who attended my seemantham is that I am going to have a boy…but I have thought of a girl baby name …I really like that name…so Gods of numerology and popular opinion permiting and me having a girl, i would call my girl baby with my secret favourite name….i need to think up a lot more names though…I haven't yet thought of a boy baby name, did come across some that i liked but nothing that captured my fancy.

I am showing pretty well now. So even ladies hold the door for me and i get seat in train. It isn't always that sweet as sometimes people dont really bother. I can stand fro someime so it doesn't matter. But everytime someone does something because i am pregnant i feel real nice. It feels like a privilege.

So thats my pregnancy update...

Pleasant memories from Pregnancy

1. Watching the two pink lines appear in the home pregnancy test kit along with my husband and congratulating each other….
2. Sharing the news with my MIL who put on her specs to get a clear look.
3. My MIL not allowing me to lift even the smallest amount of weight since the first day of my missed period till this day.
4. Sharing the news with friends and my friends buying me a temptations chocolate, something I really like.
5. My husband buying me Saffron once I completed the first trimester.
6. Being told that I am getting fatter and responding that I am not fat, but pregnant to people at office
7. The changes that are so many
8. Feeling the baby movements for the first time ever
9. Sharing the baby movements with another person and the other person feeling it too.
10. Seeing the baby picture from ultrasound , I saw the image as early as 8 weeks.
11. Seeing the baby’s teeny-weeny heart beating in the ultrasound and hearing from the radiologist that the baby’s good
12. Being offered sweets and savories by lots of people. Even today a colleague gave me home-made karasev. My sister made kanji-maavu for me, My FIL bought a variety of nuts for me. I have been advised to eat them since my hemoglobin levels are a little low now. Little acts where people do things for me without me asking them.
13. Being offered seats in bus/train etc. Being dropped at my door-step by the van driver and so on….
14. Laughing wildly and feeling the baby move very well, so well that I could feel it from the outside and wondering what the baby is doing inside.
15. My sis telling me I look pretty pregnant, though not all are that sweet...some tell me that i am too huge for my stage. Just today one guy had to walk upto me and tell me that husband looks better than me...what sort of a comparison is that???? anyways, i am happy...pregnancy is a wonderful excuse to get fat
:P

I have tried to list as many as I can . I might have missed so many for these six plus months have been peppered with so many pleasant incidents. It has been good. I am in the last trimester now, I am not feeling tired or anything. I had gained 4 kgs in the 5th month and then I kept going on walks and managed not to gain the sixth month, lets see what the seventh month holds….

Pregnancy Updates

Pregnancy update people..
I feel I must log my days as a mom-to-be here more for myself than anything else…I am sure I would love to come back and find out how I felt…Days are moving fast, I feel I would forget everything if I don’t log them here…and I don’t want to forget…

Pregnancy has been good to me so far…and some times when I do worry, I think to myself if I will ever have the guts to bring another child to this world..it is the whole responsibility that is so scary..in everything I do..when I eat,I worry I have taken all the nutrients that are needed for my baby..i don’t want to deny my baby anything when I am the only person now capable of caring for my baby.

I don’t sleep on my back, I only sleep on the sides and occasionally when some part of my body aches due to bad posture and I do lie down straight, guilt eats me up

When I read something in some baby site, something not so good, I get worried. When people ask me if I am feeling any movements, and I don’t have a clear answer for them, I am worried…
So yes there is lot of worrying..but it is nice too

The other day I walked quite a distance, not fast as before but slow with small steps and came home to realize that my feet were swollen..i was actually ecstatic to have one of the many pregnancy symptoms…it was on 21st November..i was sitting in my house on the sofa and looking at my swollen feet when I felt something in my tummy….
Is it the baby? I didn’t know

I told my mom that I could feel the baby’s heartbeats..thats not possible, my mom said..so I pressed my hand on my tummy to feel a little bit more..i sure could feel something like a hearbeat there…I took my mom’s to make her feel the same..may be its too early, may be I can feel it from the inside and my mom couldn’t but she encouraged me and told me that I will feel the movements all around as the baby will keep moving all around, the uterus, that is
:)

I was really overjoyed..and I called my husband and told him…he thought I was hallucinating..i am really feeling something, I told him

And so today I was waiting for my van when this lady had to tell me that she has felt such heart beats too…and I hadn’t felt anything much for two days, which got me all worried…so I was sitting in my van and thinking “Baby move” but there wasn’t any..

And so I come to office and let my worries rest for a while.. and begin to blog, I had just made the post below, when I felt a little something, that I can define in my belly, it is not yet my tummy, as I have only completed 4 months…..and I immediately said, “I love you Paappu”. It is so nice when the baby lets me know that the baby is doing fine…

The movements are still not strong enough for me to confidently say that it is the baby, but I would like to believe that it is indeed the baby…
:)

I was at my mother’s place for one month and got royally pampered….and got back to husband’s place recently…the day I was packing to leave mom’s place,. I was feeling a little sad…despite being married for 4 + months, I still feel mom’s place is home….and I still feel the same sadness I felt when my parents sent me away after the wedding…

I remember, the day after the wedding, my dad was sitting with Sriram when I went to speak to him. Little Sriram waved his hand to me…
“Avanum tata sollaraan” , my father said..i was about to break down and cry but I hate crying in front of anyone but my husband :) …..but I was pretty emotional…I still miss Sriram and wish I could bring him up myself…but he is a lot of work…naughty little fellow….

I have his photo here in my workplace , so that’s some consolation

I still miss my parents and it becomes all the more when I have stayed there for sometime and have to get back..but my in-laws are nice to me…so it is OK

I actually cried in front of everyone when my sis got married and left in the van to my BIL’s native place…I can be that emotional….

I have gone off on a tanget,,,so coming back to pregnancy, I had nausea and vomited atleast once every week...twice from PTC bus, once on road and once in office…..it was difficult….and once my mom’s friend helped me and got me a limca and also ensured I got a place to sit in the next bus that came along..i was really grateful..and once I called my colleague for help and she was more than helpful..

I am definitely fatter and have a small tummy now, not very prominent..but very much there…my baby

I have a scan scheduled in the first week of December. I am waiting to see the latest image of my baby..i just have one now , which was taken when I was 12 weeks pregnant and has baby..one blob for the head and one blob for the body… I am curious to see what the baby looks like now despite all those images I get to see at babycenter.com, which is where I get all my gyan on pregnancy from…and now, babycenter.com is refusing to load up in my system here at office..

I am trying to eat properly, I have started taking saffron in my night’s milk..it was bought by my husband once I completed three months…I felt really nice and he got me these ayurvedic pills too…which I was scared to eat ..but I have now begun eating it, my FIL and MIL are vouching for it

So there goes..i don’t think this is remembrance worthy material…but let me log it anyway