Running Away

Ever felt the need to run away? Sometimes, when I am pushed to a corner, frustrated, irritated, when my efforts go waste, when I choose not be honest and have to face the consequences, and am judged for one mistake than for the million good things I do, and I could go on.. But there are so many times, when I feel like just running away from it all.

I just picture myself, getting up and screaming and waving my hands randomly and running away, just like that, to some place I do not know.
I picture that, and it makes me smile, the image of me running like that.. and even more funny to think of other people's reaction..

and then I think of the life I have painstakingly(Ahem!) built .. all that I hold dear, right till my job.. and I know that this too shall pass, and that I would have learnt a valuable lesson, I will carry for life.. and All will be well at the end!

Cleaning, Memories and Change

We are cleaning our house. We are going to have it painted, and have been clearing out stuff.. in the process come out lots and lots of sutff that we don't need and memories. And some of them have to be discarded. I don't do it with a heavy heart, for with age, and a certain sense of contentment, comes the maturity to accept that change is the only constant thing in life.

I do not hoard much, except for some of my clothes that are in good condition, but don't fit me. I keep those in hope that I will reduce some day, and I have been able to get into a few of them, mind you, just a few, the rest are passed on to my sister, who is eternally thin..

So I didn't keep any of Sanjay's baby clothes. They were not thrown out, but were merely given away to other children. While cleaning, I happened upon few baby clothes that I still had, I was happy. I wanted the baby to wear some of Sanjay's old clothes. It may seem weird for cultures, where babies wear new stuff, but for most of us Indians, babies start out by wearing hand-me-downs from other well children. Sort of a belief, and I am glad that my baby gets to wear some of Sanjay's stuff.

I will wash them and keep them safe for when my baby arrives. I show Sanjay that these are the clothes that he wore as a baby, and he looks at one nappy and asks me if he can make the baby wear it. I say yes, and smile.

I look at all cute girl baby stuff and wish for a girl, but I am sure , when I am through with my delivery, all I will care to ask is if the baby is well. :)

Punishment

If you hate me and want to really torture me, I shall tell you what needs to be done..
(I do beleive I have lived a harmless life, so this is all hypothetical.. :))

Take me from my home, and my loved ones, if only for an hour, and put me in a place full of people, where no one will start a conversation, or reply back beyond one word or sentence..

That to me is Chinese torture!

Ah! Silence truly kills! So desperate for human voice that I am listening to tutorials.. :)

Jokes apart, well, I do take time to settle in. For an internal introvert, forced extrovert like me, there are so many conversations that I can begin myself, and yes I do long company, which my son would happily dump on me, but Sigh! I will get over it, make new acquaintances, make more silly politically incorrect statements, and continue being me.

That's optimism, for you! :)