Pregnancy update people..
I feel I must log my days as a mom-to-be here more for myself than anything else…I am sure I would love to come back and find out how I felt…Days are moving fast, I feel I would forget everything if I don’t log them here…and I don’t want to forget…
Pregnancy has been good to me so far…and some times when I do worry, I think to myself if I will ever have the guts to bring another child to this world..it is the whole responsibility that is so scary..in everything I do..when I eat,I worry I have taken all the nutrients that are needed for my baby..i don’t want to deny my baby anything when I am the only person now capable of caring for my baby.
I don’t sleep on my back, I only sleep on the sides and occasionally when some part of my body aches due to bad posture and I do lie down straight, guilt eats me up
When I read something in some baby site, something not so good, I get worried. When people ask me if I am feeling any movements, and I don’t have a clear answer for them, I am worried…
So yes there is lot of worrying..but it is nice too
The other day I walked quite a distance, not fast as before but slow with small steps and came home to realize that my feet were swollen..i was actually ecstatic to have one of the many pregnancy symptoms…it was on 21st November..i was sitting in my house on the sofa and looking at my swollen feet when I felt something in my tummy….
Is it the baby? I didn’t know
I told my mom that I could feel the baby’s heartbeats..thats not possible, my mom said..so I pressed my hand on my tummy to feel a little bit more..i sure could feel something like a hearbeat there…I took my mom’s to make her feel the same..may be its too early, may be I can feel it from the inside and my mom couldn’t but she encouraged me and told me that I will feel the movements all around as the baby will keep moving all around, the uterus, that is
I was really overjoyed..and I called my husband and told him…he thought I was hallucinating..i am really feeling something, I told him
And so today I was waiting for my van when this lady had to tell me that she has felt such heart beats too…and I hadn’t felt anything much for two days, which got me all worried…so I was sitting in my van and thinking “Baby move” but there wasn’t any..
And so I come to office and let my worries rest for a while.. and begin to blog, I had just made the post below, when I felt a little something, that I can define in my belly, it is not yet my tummy, as I have only completed 4 months…..and I immediately said, “I love you Paappu”. It is so nice when the baby lets me know that the baby is doing fine…
The movements are still not strong enough for me to confidently say that it is the baby, but I would like to believe that it is indeed the baby…
I was at my mother’s place for one month and got royally pampered….and got back to husband’s place recently…the day I was packing to leave mom’s place,. I was feeling a little sad…despite being married for 4 + months, I still feel mom’s place is home….and I still feel the same sadness I felt when my parents sent me away after the wedding…
I remember, the day after the wedding, my dad was sitting with Sriram when I went to speak to him. Little Sriram waved his hand to me…
“Avanum tata sollaraan” , my father said..i was about to break down and cry but I hate crying in front of anyone but my husband :) …..but I was pretty emotional…I still miss Sriram and wish I could bring him up myself…but he is a lot of work…naughty little fellow….
I have his photo here in my workplace , so that’s some consolation
I still miss my parents and it becomes all the more when I have stayed there for sometime and have to get back..but my in-laws are nice to me…so it is OK
I actually cried in front of everyone when my sis got married and left in the van to my BIL’s native place…I can be that emotional….
I have gone off on a tanget,,,so coming back to pregnancy, I had nausea and vomited atleast once every week...twice from PTC bus, once on road and once in office…..it was difficult….and once my mom’s friend helped me and got me a limca and also ensured I got a place to sit in the next bus that came along..i was really grateful..and once I called my colleague for help and she was more than helpful..
I am definitely fatter and have a small tummy now, not very prominent..but very much there…my baby
I have a scan scheduled in the first week of December. I am waiting to see the latest image of my baby..i just have one now , which was taken when I was 12 weeks pregnant and has baby..one blob for the head and one blob for the body… I am curious to see what the baby looks like now despite all those images I get to see at babycenter.com, which is where I get all my gyan on pregnancy from…and now, babycenter.com is refusing to load up in my system here at office..
I am trying to eat properly, I have started taking saffron in my night’s milk..it was bought by my husband once I completed three months…I felt really nice and he got me these ayurvedic pills too…which I was scared to eat ..but I have now begun eating it, my FIL and MIL are vouching for it
So there goes..i don’t think this is remembrance worthy material…but let me log it anyway