Sleep deprivation is catching up with me. These days I wake up with swollen eyelids and red eyes like I have been crying for ages. Only, currently, there is no misery in my life. And even if there were one, I am not one to be crying myself silly. I remember when Sanjay had his surgery as a two year old, I cried as soon as I gave him to nurse to carry into the operation theatre. And as soon as I returned to our room, I found a steely reserve from nowhere, and a strong faith that all will be well. Much as I had worried many nights prior to his surgery, the night before his surgery, I slept well. I had to, so I could have the strength and alertness to care for him on the day of the surgery. I digress.
But coming to the point, I am seriously sleep deprived, and I need to hibernate. Yes, hibernate! My small vacation did nothing for me, as I spent all the time engaging Sanjay and getting work done at home. Sanjay still coughs heavily at least once a night, and this has been on for close to two weeks, which explain my sleep deprivation.
But I am used to it. I used to wake up many times in the night for night time feeding, to make up for the fact that I am not home during the day, before Sanjay turned one. Well, I fed him till he was two. And in the second year, I woke a little less often but still I woke up to continue the feeding, at least once each night.
May be all that is catching up with me.
I don’t want people to think that I am having domestic issues or whatever. I look like I have been crying. Sigh! But am actually happy, but just actually too tired to even smile, and my attempt is resulting in a lopsided smile.
I was just talking to college friend of mine. While in college, us friends could never get enough of talking. Once in a while, we call each other up unmindful of the STD call charges and talk about life in general. And she was telling me about how raising kids is one tough business. I couldn’t agree more. I was home for just four days on leave, and I actually got tired trying to engage Sanjay, so that he doesn’t sit in front of TV watching his cartoons. I can do any amount of household work, and find it easier than engaging a child. Matching the energy and creativity of a child and to keep the said child engaged is one tough job. I am glad I succeeded to an extent. He didn’t watch TV. Each time he would ask, I would divert him to a new game. But well, I am tired at the end of it. I think that’s what happens if you try playing football in the afternoon sun…
I leave you there..well, as always talking about it makes me feel better.. I will catch up with sleep this weekend hopefully. And then my eyes should get back to its beautiful self!