First of all, Happy Tamil New year and Vishu and all the other festivals that are thrre on friday!
I am bored ..really bored…I hate these days when everybody goes on leave and I am one of the few people in office…Human company which till then might have been annoying, suddenly becomes precious!
What is with loneliness and me, I wonder. I am no philosopher or scientist, you see. If I were then, I would have made good use of loneliness and indulged my brain in some deep thinking……..
I need people….”Man is a social animal”, it was a starting line that my friend used when she was asked to speak upon certain topics…we would laugh about it…She would connect that starting line to the need for communication. I am an electronics and communications engineer you see.
I don’t exactly need conversations.. for even If I am not super thinker, I do appreciate some silence..lots are said in silence as some poets might like to say…….
And I love to observe the unsaid…
I just need the presence of people, somewhere around me ,where they usually are. Else a strange phenomena happens and I begin missing them.. and then I dive into nostalgia…
I read some posts in the blogworld and they all said that there is this element of sadness in nostalgia, because we want to go back to those cherished moments….
Since I am quite alone (thanks to all office friends going on leave) and regular useless banter is not there to indulge me, I begin to then dive into nostalgia, feeling a tinge of that sadness and wanting to go back…
Sometimes back, when sis moved to relative’s house for her delivery ….i began to miss her and all my other good friends whom I couldn’t meet…. That I would be joining sis at my relative’s place in 2 days made 2 days seem like years..i had so gotten used to our fights when I got home from work, that the day the house was silent, I plunged into nostalgia….
All my memory about all those cherished moments with friends would do an elephant proud. Sometimes when I think about it, I think all the hard disk space in my brain has been allocated to specially preserving these wonderful memories, that I don’t have any disk space that might allow me to store information that could help me progress in my career…
Anyways, this is me!
When I am alone, and that doesn’t happen often, I like to make more friends…but when that happens. I feel all lonely and think about all those people I came across and how they went far away…..people come and go, but memories remain…and I miss them..all of them…
The silence teaches me their value.. and also teaches me to make most of the moment!!!
I wrote the following one night, when sis was complaining of back pain and we were all awake talking and talking….what if she needed to be rushed to the hospital for delivery? But not yet, yet another false pain..and since I was awake anyways, I wrote this. Sis said that it did not have any poetic quality and asked me to put it as a para, so there you are:
Wordsworth didn’t say that “nature was the best teacher”, for nothing!
An analogy – 2
I dropped the tiniest pebble I found into the stagnant waters of the lake. Just an act of impulse, without a reason. Life is full of impulsive acts, things we do , just so we know, what it feels like. And so, I dropped the pebble.
I casually glanced at the lake’s reaction. There was one tiny ripple and then another. And there were many many more, in beautiful concentric circles. Those little ripples were traveling outwards……
And Later when I thought about it, I thought that every little act of love was like that……..