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Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Blank Noise Project...



It happened long back, when i was about 8 years old. But it is still very much etched in my mind. I am not going to recount a personal experience of street harassment... for the thought of those hurt me no end. But i appreciate all those other women, who came out and spoke about their own experiences here.

My cousin sister was expecting a baby then. I walked upto her and asked her what baby she wanted. Do you want a boy or girl baby, I asked in childish innocence.

She told me in all seriousness, "I want a boy."

"But why akka", i asked her, feeling offended may be, i was a girl and a good daughter.
So why wouldn't anyone want to have a girl baby? I didnt want to feel unwanted maybe...

And what she told me, is still there in my mind. I didnt understand it then. But I get it all now,

"I dont want my daughter to undergo whatever I did...."

That sums it all up. No matter who you are, where you live..as long as you are a girl, you would have undergone this horror. Ofcourse, you learn to deal with it, you become bold. But the hurt is always there.

Will things ever change?
And this is my little contribution to this great effort.

10 comments:

Iris said...

At the risk of sounding extremely stupid/naive/clever/cunning, i am gonna ask a few things..

I dont understand the emotions behind these sentences i found in "the spill"

>>“ It does not suit you, this dress does not suit you.”
>>“ How come you wear only salwar kameez these days?”
-- could be a honest, straight forward remark.

>> “ I think you are beautiful. I have two eyes. I will stare at you.” - I have heard otherwise... I mean, some say "what is wrong in admiring beauty?"...Something about that was bothering me till i heard some girls say "so what?"...Some think staring is wrong, but may be they dont mind being admired secretly? or perhaps i am being too naive here in understanding what is said here. I dunno. May be those who say "so what?" haven't really understood what is being done to them.
>> “ But it was only a crush. I was staring at you because it was a crush.”
-- honestly! "stare"?? is there more to this word than what it literally means? (dont think that i am the only guy who has doubts about "stare"... I know girls who have the same question - this where i think "knowing that something "is" a problem will help)

May be u feel like asking me: "U mean to say that u really dont understand?"... Yes! Because not many want to speak out. How am i supposed to understand something as Good or Bad until it is told so? I am not talking about the most obvious things. This is about the more subtle ones. So how could any one know what is obvious to someone and what is not? Makes me appreciate all those who are speaking out.

My Heuristic is:
When some one doesnt like something, dont do it.
If u dunno what they feel about
something, then dont do it.
And, I believe that standing in the sidelines and just watching when such things are brought to light is just as bad as being the "perp", becuase i belong to the same group in which the perp belongs...if i dont do something, it is possible that i "sympathize(!)" with that perp.... Which also means that one must speak up when it is blogged,(that is the reason why i am making a reply without caring how it sounds),because, lest i feel by some crazy-instinct/fearlessness/lack-of-sense/lack-of-morality/evolution -into-something-non-human that i might become a "perp" myself. Speaking up will ensure that i stay honest, wont it?

Sometimes, Ignorance is Bliss...
Sometimes, Ignorance is a crime...
Sometimes, Ignorance is less fun...
Sometimes, Ignorance is safety...
Sometimes, Ignorance is a previlege...
Sometimes, Ignorance is just a fact...
Sometimes, Ignorance is some other thing.

sometimes, Knowledge is a burden...but only till the knowledge is complete.
so mostly, Knowledge is powerful.

All said and done, I appreciate all those who are voicing out.

smiley said...

Things are changing

Jayan said...

Wonderful short story.

I dont want my daughter to undergo whatever I did....

Says a lot !

monu said...

@iris
i really dont know what to say, frankly!
i appreciate your honesty though...

@smiley
hope they really do..

@jayan
thanks. That was a real incident. I did ask my cousin and this is what she told me.

Iris said...

oh oh! ( i think i have said something and u have understood something else!!)
I will try and clarify:

>>>>And, I believe that standing in the sidelines and just watching when such things are brought to light is just as bad as being the "perp", becuase i belong to the same group in which the perp belongs...if i dont do something, it is possible that i "sympathize(!)" with that perp....<<<

I meant that i was a "guy" so i belong in the same group called "guys"...


>>>At the risk of sounding extremely stupid/naive/clever/cunning<<<
i simply tried to be fool proof...and introduced a misunderstanding!

>>>Speaking up will ensure that i stay honest, wont it?<<<
This doesnt mean i have done somethign before...I am just trying to add one more reason for people to speak out.

:(

Sandai-Kozhi said...

Blog hopped here!


very interesting blog u got here!

Iris said...

Honestly! I am hurt :(

monu said...

@iris
i didnt mistake what u said there
:)

@precious
welcome here

@iris
wish u the same!

Iris said...

@Monu
Now, I am honestly Confused... naah.. now i think i understand what u meant.
And i think u said "wish u the same" in the wrong place :)
Not hurt any more:)

Known Stranger said...

i understand it. but do you thing guys dont get embarrisd but many just take it easiy.. no offence my dear friend. gals undergo mor ethna guys