Friday, September 16, 2005

Interpersonal Comunication Skills

I think I am free to put up my understanding of the classes i attended. They do a fantastic job, The people who gave us the training, It was just two days, but i leanrt so much!

The same people gave us an outbound training as soon as we (my batch) joined our organisation. It was the first point of bonding, and we bonded well as a team.

Coming back to the interpersonal communication skills training, The first thing they taught us was this:

(i) Assumption

We were given a story with five characters and asked to judge them and rank them from best to worst from our point of view. We could decide on any basis. We were also asked to discuss that as a team and come to a consensus.

We did that and our team gave its response. When the teams had finished, they asked us to reason out and we did. When questioned certain things , we said that we had assumed.

So that was the learning, "Never start a relationship with an assumption"

We all do that don't we? We look at someone, and immediately we just know. Well, We cant afford to do that. It just doesn't help to build a relationship!

(ii) Assertiveness

As the topic says, we should learn to say "NO" and do it tactfully.One of the most difficult things on planet earth is to say "NO". Seriously! I have felt that way too.

Does it happen that we take more than we can handle just because we can't say no. Worse still, How many of us go for coffee or anything just because someone else is calling us. Thats what i learnt, Start saying "NO" from the simple things. If you don't want to do it, say so in a polite manner. If someone calls for coffee and you just don't want to go, you can say that you are held up a bit in a very polite manner. It is not so bad to say "NO" actually if it is done in a right way! Ofcourse, we just cant say a plain "NO", i reiterate, just in the right polite way!


Most of us think of ambiguity as a very negative thing. Most of us need to feel in control of things. If we have a plan for the day and something suddenly pops up, then what do we do, we are freaked out?

Or does having to multi-task freak you out, when your job somehow requires you to multi-task?
multi-tasking also leads to ambiguity as we may not know what to do first...

Well, there is a simple solution for this, Paradign shift for Ambiguity! Look at ambiguity as a choice..wherever ther is ambiguity, ther is choice, you can do this or that..interesting isn't it?

Anything, just about anything life throws at you can be looked at in the positive sens , i suppose!
For starters, just try throwing little ambiguities at yourself, try to walk out of your comfort zones and see, it can be positive!

(iv) Respond or react

When someone provokes you, you can do two things:

a. The thing that comes naturally to you, that is react
b. Think and act, respond

It always makes sense to respond, to think and do anything.

Think -> feel -> act

That way , you can be confident of anything you do and also do the right thing. An immediate reaction won't do any good.

Another, never react to someone's ego need. If someone is trying to provoke, they are just trying to satisfy an ego need. Please don't succumb to that. Think and act!


all that thrown in with lots of activities, it was an enlightening two days for me!


tamilan said...

engayum konjam light'i paichu vittergal.

Jeevan said...

Sometimes i will also tell NO. Hear after i will tell, Please dont mistake me i have work No.

Monu are you from?

Adaengappa !! said...

Good one !!
Assertiveness :I lack big time..Better I learn it now !!

Kaps said...

the best part abt training are the free lunches. hope u enjoyed those.

Prabu Karthik said...

'steven covey' book padicha feel :)

Narayanan Venkitu said...

I am glad that corporate India is growing so fast thanks to all this training. Unfortunately, we didn't have all these in my days ( 1980's).

Very nicely written, Monu. I am thinking of 'Arranged Marriage' as a case study here and analyzing all the points.!! Interesting.!!

G3 said...

nicely written monu. I liked the assertiveness part and the respond/react part. wonder what this training is for?

BTW, I have moved to

monu said...


me too should learn to do that!

most of us become submissive in our attempts to be nice , i suppose! me too same...

Unfortunately (or should i say fortunately), the training was very much in office and got regular ofice food, which is not free...but I like Annalakshmi no probs!

avaru yaaru?
did he write seven habbits of highly effective ppl or something?

@Narayanan Venkitu
Sounds interesting, infact even in my organisation, poeple who are more experienced than me (like 5 years or so) attended..they didnt have it when they joined...but that was nice..gotto learn a lot from them....

yep, i checked out ur new poeple learn to put up with people..

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