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Monday, June 13, 2005

of castes, sub-castes and sub-castes within sub-castes .........................

The story:

they so perfectly complemented each other
he knew when to listen
and she knew when it was that he wanted to listen


she knew his prolonged silence meant disapproval or anger
and he knew that her impulsive outburts were never from her heart


she knew that at heart he was an orthodox old guy , all chivalrous..
he knew that despite her outward indepence, she liked to be taken care of


she knew sometimes that his yes meant a no...
and he knew how not to be brutally frank...


she knew that he lied sometimes thinking that he was being protective
he knew that she would never ever say a lie, not even a white lie...


she knew he goofed up when he tried to impress
and he knew that she liked it when he took an effort to impress


they knew each other so well..
and that they were made for each other


what they didnt know was that,
they didnt belong to the same sub-caste within a sub-caste

and that the world wouldnt approve of such a marriage...
They didnt know that fanatics placed more importance to that
then thier feelings... and lives!!!

The explanation:
Yes, seriously, to some people(read as parents), what the world would say, what if they would(parents) then not be able to participate in the family functions..etc..etc... seems to be of more importance than the feelings of thier own children

yes, i have a cousin sister who married out of community, and till this date, she doesnt get to participate in the family rituals that other married women participate in..fortunately though, she is invited...but she cannot participate...as in be a part of the ritual..she can be a silent bystander...................
and citing such discrimination as a reason, parents would never agree to an inter-community wedding...yes, times are changing...but we still havent learnt to see humans as only humans, we still see them as hindus, brahmins, tamil brahmins, iyers, palakkad iyers, kumbakonam iyers, thanjavur iyers, palakkad iyers who settled in madras, palakkad iyers who still live in kerala, vadamaa,vaathimaa.....the divisons on such lines goes on...i am sorry but i find it ridiculous

will things ever change ???? will people learn to see beyond such lines???

27 comments:

Sriram said...

Yay! I have someone I can include in my war against stupid castes. (FYI me is a Tam Bram and I hate everything about it) Luckily, I have wonderful parents who have only one restriction : "No christians or Muslims for a wife please".. which I think is acceptable, cuz people from both religions are mostly fanatics. Of course, i'd luv it if Elisha Cuthbert can marry me :D.. came here thro Kay's blog.

"Vadamaa, vaathimaa" -- What next? Dosamaa?

Of course, I hate Vadakalai and thenkalai equally ;).. may I ask the bad question of how old you are? and nice style of writing. I'll be back and If you may write regularly, you'll be blogrolled ;)

Sriram said...

OK, the last line of the last comment was for fun. Guess i should say that up front. and me is off to blogroll you.

Baejaar said...

I try not to comment on comments. But Sriram, I just couldnt resist it this time.
Dont you think classifying al christians and muslims as fanatics is going overboard? Not marrying someone from other religion bcoz their taste, culture and rituals being different is acceptable but shouldnt be bcoz of the image as "fanatics". My cubicle mate as well as project mate is a muslim. My college lecturer and a great friend of mine is a christian. Now they are the more sensible and lovely persons, I have ever met.

Monu, should we really care whether we are included as part of these rituals? Personally I dont care whether we are included or not - all that matters is whether the friends & relatives accept us as part of them. If they didnt then they arent friends in the first place. So dont worry about all the objections, if the spouse is good.

ioiio said...

Sriram..dont even dare to come near crescent Engg again..

Be fair da.. Its only a small coterie of ppl who r fanatics.. Not all of them.. If they r fanatics, All Iyers for suppressing others decades back shud also be called so.. I personally wudnt like anyone except myself caling me a fanatic.

Manoj said...

caste = stupidity

Kay said...

Awesome....Sooper ..Am totally impressed..U know y...u are talkin abt something which i might go thru later in my life but im up to it..

monu said...

@sriram
thanks for visiting my blog and blogrolling me
:-)
i would blogroll you too....
:-)
i am 22, working here in chennai...
i scribble often, here at office..in between work.

@beajaar

but we have to care about parental acceptance right? and parents seem to consider such things as a reason..i really am not for walking out of your house..i think we all have a duty to our parents..we cant do that...

yep, i studied in a muslim minority institution(crescent) and contrary to notions, muslims were not fanatics...and i realised that there are lots of nice things about islam....

:-)

monu said...

@ullu
maybe i agree with you

sometimes i feel that tambrams are the most fanatics of them all....my cousin married a mudaliar and they dont discriminate against her...our side of the family still does, not that i am a part of it....i can only voice my opinion, cant change old fanatics......

sorry if the language was strong, i couldn't help it!

monu said...

@ manoj
thanks for the comment manoj

@kay
i have added your blog in my links...hope you are okay with that..
and good luck for your future..
:-)

Chaos said...

sorry for gatecrashing this party here...but sriram dude whoever you are..monu if he's ur friend I am sorry for being rude to him...

"Sriram ..you are a fanatic 'coz u just go around calling people from other religions fanatics".

Was always fed up with the reeligious intolerance in some southern states.

monu said...

hey sanju,

cool down!
seems you came in early to office today
:-)
religious intolerence is prevelant everywhere
;-)

Sriram said...

Sanjeev, Baejaar and all others,
I hate to make a case here in Monu's blog. I said they are "mostly" fanatics. And seriously, don't start running your mouths before you know anything. Islam categorically states that anyone who doesn't accept Islam is an enemy of Islam. If this isn't fanaticism, what is?

Sanjeev,
I have some choicy words for you, but since this isn't my blog, I'm not sayin anything. It isn't religious intolerance you idiot! And infact, by saying what u said, you are a rascist yourself ;)

ioiio said...

Sriram..
Cool it..There is something called decorum.. Not everyone need to be on the same ground when u r discussing a topic..

Then whats ur justification for christianity..wud like to know that before I comment any further..

Monu..
Keep writing these stuff.. see more controversy..nore comments..lol..

@kay..
All the best machan..

@Sanju
need not have brought south india into the picture..look what it did.. jus weakened ur argument!

monu said...

@sriram
i think this a sensitive topic..
what i was tring to tell was that some poeple have to let go of thier love for such reasons as religion/caste/sub-caste/sub-caste within sub-caste.....and so on....
y? beacuse parents are so opposed to it..nothing else......

people in general see differences....

sorry about this mess i have created

monu said...

@ullu/ioiio

photo nalla irukku...enga edithathu?
and what is the bull for?
:-)

ioiio said...

Sriram..ROTFL

Btw.. y did u stop with the age.. apdiye konjam jaadhagam ketrukkalaaam illa..

Enna blogrolla vayasu vechu categorize panna poriyaa..hey jus kidding..apram idiot psycho'nu ellaam thitta aarambichidaadhey..

ioiio said...

oh.. Thats the bull in the Wall Street near NYSE.. its a great foto opp..

there wud be tons of ppl taking pictures in pathetic positions and postures.. andha bull paavam!!!

btw i dont know what it signifies..gotto google on it

monu said...

@ullu/ioiio

what time in the us now?just curiosity..it is 10:05 am here in chennai..early morn at office...

and your photo....

Baejaar said...

I never suggested you to walking out of the house. That is never an option. What I meant was that for you and your parents, it shouldnt matter as to what the society's (read relatives and friends) opinion. I suggest first listening to our heart and then convincing our parents about the same. I am sure no parent will say no, provided we are honest, open and use a bit of common sense.

Chaos said...

lemme get one thing straight...I'm no racist.. and I mentioned south indian states because i've never traveled to the north.(Can't tell anything about places I've never been to right??) Don't start making asumptions on the way a name sounds .

monu said...

@baejaar


"I am sure no parent will say no, provided we are honest, open and use a bit of common sense."
i guess thats where the fanatic part comes in......if they are fanatic enough and give a bit too much importance as to what the world would say, very tough.......

monu said...

@sanju,

cool down..it is better not to blame a specific region.....i guess thats what we call diplomacy.....

and all there, sanju is a mallu....

G3 said...

interesting topic ... and even more interesting comments! :)

Things are changing i think. Atleast in Singapore, the people here are more open about such issues. Lets hope for the best!

monu said...

@gayathri

thanks! :)

yep, things are changing..hope some people who travelled back in time machine(read as fanatics) come back to the current century

ioiio said...

now its 1.35 and it shud be 11.05 there..

I sleep evryday at around six and get up at 10 am..so this is not bad at all

monu said...

@ioiio,
gud night...!

monu said...

@ioiio
i wonder how u r managing with that duration of sleep!!