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Monday, June 06, 2005

Notebook Scribblings Part II

this is about how sometimes lies are the most amazing things to tell....
like when failure knocks on one's door and when we feel so let down and know probably that we could never make it...know one's real worth...
when we tell ourselves that may be i can't , i never could ........................
it certainly helps to be told that one very sweet lie...
I THINK YOU TRIED YOUR BEST....!

i wrote it after a conversation with one of my good friends..i was sharing some problems with her, telling her that i hope to find a job and so on and so on....
and she told that me that she always thought that i was an achiever..i thought that may not be true( because i wasnt that star performer...people wondered how i got decent scores..being an ECE person, i still dont know how a transistor works...i always copied assignments..i broke equipments in labs...klystron oscillator for an example....the list goes on), still , there she was trying to comfort me and encouraging me...by telling me sweet little words of encouragement, that i have referred to as a lie..that was just a way of saying , hey i know i am good for nothing, still, you think i am good, thanks...... thats all

since i am not exactly shakespeare, i may not be conveying my thoughts properly here in this poem, i know beacuse when i showed this to the person i wrote for, she thought i was calling her a liar..i reiterate ..no i am not..i am just showing gratitude....

anyways, i happened to remember this one too...and since my joblessness at work seems to continue....(yes i have this dumb script to write but iam not yet near the deadline.......! :) ) so am posting this one.....

LIAR


AS I SWAYED TO THE GENTLE RHYTHM OF THE TRAIN..
TEARS FORMED A ZIGZAG PATTERN ON MY CHEEKS!


OBLIVIOUS TO STRANGERS' GLANCES..
I SPOKE TO MYSELF-"LIAR! LIAR!"


HOW COULD U TELL ME SUCH A LIE
SUCH AN EXPLICIT LIE... THAT IT HIT ME HARD!


HOW COULD YOU....YOU
I THOUGHT TO BE MY BEST FRIEND?


ANY FOOL COULD TELL YOUR LIE APART...
WHY WOULDN'T I?.....KNOWING YOU AND ME..


YET YOU LIE...?"LIAR! LIAR!"
VIOCES YELLED IN MY MIND AS IF TO OPPOSE MY SILENCE


FRESH TEARS FLOWED ... IT SEEMED
TO WIPE OUT THE DRIED MARKS.....OBLIVIOUS!


AND THEN YOU HOLD MY HAND AGAIN...
"LIAR! LIAR! "-I REPEAT IN MY MIND...


AND YOU TELL IT AGAIN...
"I THINK YOU TRIED YOUR BEST!"


AND MOMENTARILY I SMILE...
THANK YOU FRIEND FOR ALL YOUR COMFORTING LIES..


I FAIL....AND YOU LIE......
THANK YOU MY FRIEND!
(29/5/2002)

11 comments:

divyasurendiran said...

I think i have told you before, i liked the poem.
:-)

But probably, too many "liar" s made your friend think otherwise.

ioiio said...

"being an ECE person, i still dont know how a transistor works.."

Well..that was my complaint for a long time when I was in crescent.. Cant say the same now though..

monu said...

@ioiio
good, you seemed to have picked up the all the knowledge in the US of A then.... glad to know that there were people like me in college
:)

@divya
thanx divs...
thats why i am no good in poetry...
:(

divyasurendiran said...

Hey,i think that "liar, liar!" is poetic.I just meant that, those words may have misleaded ur friend.

ioiio said...

all the knowledgeaaaa..io.. over.. ippavum dubukku dhaaan aana transistor working therinja dubukku

Chaos said...

???... Wow U seem to be one confused gal. So what you are saying is "If you can justify your reason , You can tell a lie....." pretty good but justify to whom... there are a billion + people out there who's not going to agree with your justification.

monu said...

not that sanju, i am saying that some people may say things to comfort others which may appear as a lie...but nevertheless a lie with good intentions...

monu said...

ioiio

ore thannadakkam......
IC design ellaam padikkareenga..ungalukku theriyaamayaa?

ioiio said...

Well..transistor working theriyum..innum oscillator, amplifiernu ethanaiyo theriyaadhey..

Chaos said...

It's ur justification that it's for a good intention..what about someone else's point of view?

monu said...

ioiio....
ungalukku collegelaye ithellaam theriyumnu enakku theriyum...
:-)

and sanju,
guess you are right...cant blame another person totally..question of perception..i guess.....sad as it is, but we all have only one perception of the world,...our own perception......